Well,,,,,,,,,

Well,,,,,,,the pain is still there and so is the shortness of breath,,,,,,,,it's becoming a part of me. If it was my heart,,,I guess I would of had a heart-attack by now. I have an appt with the liver Dr in a couple of weeks,,,maybe he can tell me something. I haven't felt well at all this week, don't exactly know what is going on ,,,,,,,blood work still looks the same, bad,,,,,but stable. I'm very tired, so tired, I've tried to pick up the tree limbs and it just gives me out. Jeremy has helped a lot, if it wasn't for him, I couldn't get it done. Soon I will have to see about getting a new roof put on, (wind damage) I dread the mess, I've been thinking about putting on a metal roof,,,I just might like it. And oh yes,,,the garage door has to be replaced, (again, wind damage) ,,,,,,,a woman's work,,,

Well, I'm still having those chest pains and short of breath. I had a Dr appt on Friday but because of the snow, I was afraid to get out, so I cancelled. Wish I had went now. It could be a reaction to some medication that I am taking for the liver. I am going to try to get in with the Dr tomorrow, if not,,,I will go on to the ER,,,hopefully I will have something to report by tomorrow evening. Thanks everyone for remembering me,,I know you've been worried, me too!!

I watched two movies today: Taking Chance, and Article 99. Taking Chance was about a LT in the Marines that was taking the body of a Pvt back home. I was very impressed,,,,,,,,he never left that body!!!! he was very particular with it and even slept in the floor beside it one night. And it was treated with all dignity and respect,,,,very impressive. I would recommend you watch it. The other, Article 99, was about a bad veteran's hospital and the red tape that it goes through,,,to make a long story short,,,the vet Drs and vets wind up over taking the hospital and getting a very much needed heart by-pass that a vet seriously needed to survive,,,and how they banded together (a band of brothers) to get the job done,,,again a good movie. These movies made me think of my brothers (I had 4, two are now deceased). All 4 of them served time in the service, I don't know that I ever thanked them for their services for me and my county, the job in protecting us all and choices they made in putting their life on the line for us. I am so proud of them for this. I know the sacrifices they had to make and today I honor them. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart!

Busy, busy, busy,,,,,,

Just busy, busy, busy,,,,,,I'm supposed to be retired, and I'm busier than when I worked!!! Don't know how I ever did it!!! But,,,,I'm enjoying every minute of it!!

Still having chest pain,,,it's going on 4 weeks now. My blood work showed that the thyroid is normal, so it's not that. If it's not my heart, nor thyroid, what is it then???? The lungs?? I have an appt on Friday w/Dr Shadowen,,,we'll see. Also the blood work for Dr Young is stable, no worse and no better, same,,,,so it's good news,,,no chemo yet!!!! I'm so glad we put it off until after Christmas,,,,there's no telling what shape I would be in right now, if,,,,,,,,,,, The Lord has a way of taking care of things doesn't he? An answer to prayer. Thanks again to all who prayerd for me!! I will see the cancer Dr. the last of April,,,hopefully everything will still look good. (still blessed!!)

What a beautiful day we had today,,,Hannah, (my granddaughter) and I stayed out side for a good while and played and enjoyed the sun. She is such a joy,,,,a reason to get out of bed in the mornings...........Here's a picture of Hannah, taken with my Red Hatter's hat and boa on,,,she's a mess!!! and she talks ALL THE TIME and carries on a conversation like a grown up. (having a mom that is is teacher, encourages that I would say, ha)

(Hope you enjoy these pictures Wanda,,,,,I'm not real savy when it comes to this PC,,,but I'm learning!)

Seven years,,,,,,,,,,

I wore this same dress, seven years ago to the funeral, how ironic that I chose to wear it today. My life has changed sooo much in seven years. Half of me,,,,,, missing,,,and then trying to find a satisfying life for myself. No way I can describe it,,,,,,It took several years,,,,just trying to find "me" again and trying to make "me" a whole person. I had to look for things to "busy" my life with, it seems, just to survive. It seemed, it hurt to even, "breathe", without him. But,,,,,I re-adjusted my life,,,,and went forward,,,,and now it has been seven years,,,,gosh,,,,But God has been good and I still feel "Blessed" just to be counted among the living.

I still am having chest pain, I guess I shall call the Dr and check on the monitor readings. I'm sure it is alright but I will call and then I won't have to guess.

Saturday, I attended the Red Hatters Tea at The Victorian House in Smiths Grove. What a wonderful time we had. There were 12 of us and we drank hot peach tea and had a lite lunch. We then toured the bed and breakfast and learned some of it's history. It was a warm way to spend a rainy and balmy Saturday, with good friends and good history.

No News,,,is good News,,,,,,,,

I wore the heart monitor for 24 hours and then took it back,,,as of yet I haven't received a phone call telling me anything about it, so,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I am assuming that it was okay. I feel better today, but I am still nervous. Went back on the insulin and thyroid, I thought that they had something to do with it, but since I was still nervous and off them, that it wasn't those pills. I'll just keep an eye on everything and wait and see.

I can't believe it is the end of the month already. On Saturday the "Red Hatters" are having a "Tea" in Smiths Grove, at the Victorian House. We dress up and do something fun every month. We have a good group of women and it is always so much fun. (like a bunch of little girls). I'll let you know how it all went and maybe send a picture.

A bed fellow,,, just for tonight,,,,,,,

The eye Dr appt today went well,,,,go back next year,,,very little change in the eyes,,,,some but nothing to worry about right now. But then on the other hand,,,,,,I haven't been feeling well,,,don't know why,,,don't understand my feelings. I have been very jittery on the inside and the Dr. upped the insulin dosage and I assumed it has caused this. So I cut back on the insulin and at times it is really bad,,,enough that I stopped the insulin all together and I am still that way. So I called Dr Avula and asked him to check me out. He wanted me to go to the ER and I said no,,,,,,,,I will come to your office. Blood pressure was 190/102, pulse was 98. He did a E.K.G. and it was fine, but he felt better if I would wear a heart monitor for 24 hrs. So,,,,,, I have someone to sleep with tonight,,,,,,,,(Gotcha there, didn't I?) Don't know where it will lead,,,hopefully no where,,,,but I can't stand this nervousness,,,maybe the sugar,,,,,I'm like this 24/7. It's about to drive me crazy!!!!! I went back on the insulin with a smaller dosage and took another BP pill, maybe it will help...........

Today is my nephews birthday,,,,,,,,Happy Birthday Scott, (down in Georgia). Have a good day!!

Tomorrow,,,,,, it will be 7 years, (tears, tears,), at times it seems a lot longer,,,,,,,,I miss my sweetie,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

The Dr. said,,,,,,,,

The Dr. is not sure about the toe,,,could be a fungus,,,,just not sure. She gave me some toe nail polish (no, it's not polish, but it looks like it) to use every day, taking off the previous coat first, and then wait and see if it gets any better. I go back in April. If it's not any better she will do a culture,,,then we'll see. I would hate to lose a toe,,,could be the sugar also,,we'll see. Don't know much more then I did before,,,we'll see, we'll see, wait and see, we'll see. Gee

Got those taxes filed, year closed for 2008. It was a good year,,,I got to live all year!!! That's a good thing, isn't it? I was sick quite a bit,,,I took some IvIg treatments to raise my platelets, and I got meningitis and hepatitis (not at the same time, mind you). When I took the first round, it was grueling 8 and 9 hour treatments for 5 days,,,,it was awful!!!! I had sooo many reactions,,,that we had to stop and re-start sooo many times. By the weekend I had a tremendous headache and stiff neck,,,I wound up at the ER with meningitis,,,of course I recovered by the next weekend, but my speech, memory and eyesight has not been the same. The second round was only one day for about 35 minutes,,,,,,by the weekend I was in the ER again with,,,,,,hepatitis,,,I was yellow, my eyeballs were yellow, I peed brown and I felt horrible. Of course by the next weekend I was better,,,but now I have early stages of cirrhosis of the liver, they say because of the suppressed immune system. I just can't win!!!! I believe one reason the toe is not getting well is because of the immune system. A suppressed immune system (I'm finding out) effects your whole body, (2 route canals done on teeth, cirrhosis of the liver , ear infections), I'm susceptible to anything. But here I am,,,right now, I'm doing good,,,,,looking forward to a good year this year. I'm starting out good,,,,NO CHEMO,,,,whoo hoo!!!!! Still Blessed!!!

Going to the eye Dr. tomorrow for the yearly diabetic exam on my eyes, where they dilate them and all. Hope everything is doing good in that area. I'll be glad to get these yearly appt. alllll over with.!!!