I Don't think it's going to Work!!!!!

I've been trying to get use to this breathing machine (c-pap). The Dr said I had mild to moderate sleep apnea, that I quit breathing 17.8 times in an hour and the oxygen level dropped down to 82. He said I qualified for oxygen, at home. (What??!!) I can't believe it,,,OMG! Since I got this machine, with a mile of hose that is hooked up to the end of my nose, that forces air in my nostrils. Which this doesn't bother me,,,it's the hose,,,,there's 10 foot of it, it seems!!!!!I'll give it a month,,,,,and it doesn't get easier,,,,,it's gone.....................I haven't felt well for about 4 weeks now,,,can't put my finger on it,,,,,maybe it's the sleep thing, I am just soooo tired,,,,,,,,,,

Next week is the appointment with the infectious disease specialist,,,,,,I'm anxious to see just what she says. I am already on an anti-biotic,,,,don't know for sure if this is the right kind,,,,everything I read, says anti-biotic, by IV,,,,so we'll see what she says. I want the strongest they make!

Been putting up freezer corn, and peaches,,,will taste mighty good this winter. Soon the green beans will be in,,oh boy oh boy, then the fun will really begin,,,washing jars, breaking beans, canning, breaking beans, can some more, breaking beans, etc. you get the picture don't you? Never ending,,,at least we'll have something to eat,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Just How Much,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

does God think I can stand????? This is too much!!!! I told Dr Fee that I wasn't crazy about cutting on my toe (being diabetic) and he said he didn't blame me,,,,(but this is the only way we will know for sure) I asked,,,, can we just try the 6 weeks of antibiotic first???? He said if that is what I wanted to do, to buy me some time,,,that he would play with me on that. (yea!!) But to go ahead and see an infectious disease specialist, Rebecca Shadowen, and get started on the antibiotic,,So they called and she is out ????and I then asked him if maybe this had anything to do with the bone marrow and he said he didn't think so,,,and that I was looking at amputation,,,,but he would play with me on the antibiotic!!!! (WHAT!!!!???, AMPUTATE MY TOE??????? NOW,,,,,,,Just how much does God think I can stand?????? And I won't be able to stand very well with only four toes!!!!!OMG!!!!) This is becoming a nightmare!!! You all remember my mom dying of sepsis,,,from having her leg amputated,,,
A NIGHTMARE, I'm telling you,,,,needless to say,,I immediately begin taking the antibiotic,,,,,,oh please don't take my toe. I usually can see the brighter side of things,,,but I'm afraid I can't with this... It COULD get the best of me so fast,,,,,,,,,,so fast,,,,,,,,,, I try to protect myself from germs and such,,,,but how did I get this,,,,,,I just can't handle bacteria,,,,,,,,,

I also had a sleep study done on Tuesday night and guess what??? (you know it's going to be bad, don't you???? Everything I have anymore is negative,,,,,,,) the tech said that I had sleep apnea, but that the Dr would talk to me about it. And I have an appt with him next wed. To tell the truth I didn't sleep very well there, so many wires, I was hooked up to,,I kept waking up and couldn't stay asleep,,,,,I felt like I had little fevers all night long and I have noticed today, that I still have them,,,could be with the infection and all.....whew ,,,,,,,will this ever end????? Yes, it will,,,,someday,,,,and you never know when it will be,,,,,but I'm ready.......got ready when I was 16, bowed at an alter,,,when God saved me,,,,,,,,,and one day,,,,,,,,one day he'll call me home,,,,,,,

My cousin didn't show,,at the revival,,,I hope he hasn't put it off too long,,,,,,remember he is 89,,,,

Happy Fourth of July Everyone!!!

Well,,Happy Holiday and hope everyone is grilling , eating and having good family time,,,,,,,,guess I will be going back to the revival,,,,,my cousin has not showed yet,,,,,but I'm thinking Sunday,,,,yep,,Sunday would be a goooood day to get saved. Please keep us in your prayers. The church had a sweet,,,,,,sweet,,,,,,, service last night. I feel "at home" now.

The Dr talked to my cancer Dr and they want a biopsy done on the toe,,,she said something is diffidently going on with the foot,,,,she doesn't know what,,,,(like bone marrow suppression, bone infection, bone cancer, yuck!) I've been researching on the Internet and don't like what I am reading,,,,,could be alot of things,,,,,I'm not going to get upset,,,,,,,until I know something for sure,,,,,,,,,,it's not looking good. She wants me to see Kirk Fee,,,,orthopedic Dr...I already see him for my knee,,,,and get him to do the biopsy,,(she only does the procedure in Russelville,,,don't want to go there when all of my Drs are on BG) and Friday they were out for the holiday,,,,so I'll have to get it set up next week. whew,,,,sometimes this is all so overwhelming,,,Jonathan can't understand why I have so much stuff,,,,,again,,,,a suppressed immune system,,,,,,,they don't tell you this good stuff of what can happen to you,,,,and they want to do even more chemo,,,,,,,,,UGH!!!! My CLL will probably not kill me,,,,,,it will be something about the immune system,,,,you wait and see. But I still get around good and work quite a bit,,,,,,of course alot of the time I am in bed the next day,,,,but if you see me out fishing or working in the yard,,,,it's a GOOD DAY!!! I feel like doing something,,,,,this revival is rough,,,,,soooo tired,,,,but I hope the victory comes in the end,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and Victory is sooooo sweeeet!!!