Well,,,,,,,Ain't God Good!!!!!!!!

Went to see my cancer Dr, Dr Young to get the report of the PET scan,,,,,WOO,,,,,,,HOOO!!!! No spreading in the lymph nodes and no evidence of metastatic activity in any organ,,,WOO,,,,,HOOO,,,,,,,We found it early,,,,,,,,,may not have any more involvement for hopefully many years,,,but of course, I know it could be 3 months also. He said that the nodes are usually large before it is found,,,,but we did good,,,and found it early. So that suckka is out of there!!! But that is awfully good news for now,,,it's been kinda scary around here. Leukemia numbers are about the same,,,no better no worse,,,that is good also. Go back in three months, unless something comes up. and did I tell you that my Dr of 12 years is re-locating to Colorado? I've been with him for a long time and I really like him,,,,,....He has seen me at some very low times,,,chemo, shingles, allergic reactions to IVIG treatments, which cause hepatitis and meningitis,,,and now this,,,I will see him one more time before he leaves,,,,,maybe,,just maybe I'll bake him a cake,,,,,,,,

Surprise, surprise,,,,,,,,,

Went to see the surgeon, Dr Daniels today,,,so he could check the incision site, which I thought was looking rather well, until last nite and I noticed a huge red place on one side of it,,,,and I thought maybe I was bleeding internally. Tried not to get excited and was tempted to call someone over to examine it,,,but it was like 1:30 in the am,,,,and I re-thought about it. I felt like it had fever in it, but I didn't have a fever,,,but it was getting large and was painful. Was glad I was seeing the Dr the next day,,,,,,,So I go and he looks at it and says the incision looks good,,,,then I told him that the red place has just appeared yesterday ,,,,and he said that was common (I am so glad I am just a common person) ha. "Would you like for me to drain it?" (I thought about saying,,,,,NO,,,,I like growing a third boob under my arm, and I like all this pain I'm in,,,,,but I didn't, I was nice and said,,, yes) He commenced to numb me, stick in a needle,,,,(which still hurt terribly) added a syringe, 22ccs to be exact and extracted 5 of those syringes full of bloody water, (lymph water and blood) that was what was pooling up around the incision,,,,,,,great!!! He said,,,we may have to do this several more times,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hmmmmmmmm,,,,should I scream now or next trip??? They never tell you everything,,,,nobody told me to expect this. More trips to BG with the gas prices going sky high again. Now to top the whole day off,,,,,,,,,,,,he put a cotton ball on the syringe site and paper tape over the whole area,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,well,,ouchy,,!!!!!! stuck like glue,,,,,,,you should of seen the little dance I was doing trying to pull it off,,,,I'd pull a little ,,,dance a little,,,,,pull a little dance a little,,,,why would he put that tape right on the incision site,,,,,,,,,,Gosh,,,,,,,then it was itchy and sticky,,,,I washed it off first then put on some Aquaphor on it,,,it feels a little better and I'm a little calmer........Mommmmmmmmmmma!!!!!
Six more days until I see Dr Young. Cancer can bring out a nasty side of yourself,,,,,,,gotta have a little humor to go along side of it,,,,,,,or it will drive you absolutely insane,,,,,,,,,lol

Soooooooo glad,,,,,,,,,

that's over,,,,,,,,I had the PET scan today,,,,,,,I'm still a little anxious. Thought I was going to have a panic attack,,,,can't stand closed in places,,,I know it's silly,,,,,but have always been that way. All I wanted to do was get out of that thing. They also "wrap" your arms to your sides,,,I thought I was going to "croak" right there in the cylinder,,,,yikes!!! I asked her if it would be alright if I hummed and she said ok,,,,so I just hummed and tried to focus on that song,,,,,,,and I will have to say God surely had a hand in it and kept me in there,,,,,,Gosh I'm glad that's over. I will say I think an MRI is worse,,,of course the cylinder is longer and makes alot of noise too. I won't know the results until next Tuesday. The orders for the scan had NHL marked on it for reasoning,,,,,,,,,hmmmmmmmmm,,,,I'd say that means non-Hodgkin's lymphoma,,,hmmmmmmmm,,,,well, now we know,,,,it has a name. I would say the scan will tell us if it has spread to an organ(s) and what stage we are dealing with,,,,hmmmmmmmmm. The little tech that took care of me was so sweet and so good at her job,,,I know I was a difficult patient,,,,but she handled me well. Her name was Ewa, pronounced Eva at the diagnostic center at the MC. Thanks Ewa,,,I feel like I owe you my life,,,ha

I picked up the biopsy report while I was in town,,,,,anybody know what CD20, CD23, and CD5 positive with CD38 negative and dim kappa are? Over my head for sure,,,,,,,The diagnosis was: small B cell lymphoma consistent with involvement of chronic lymphocytic leukemia in lymph node, and they say this is common. Leave it to me to have something that was "common",,,ha.

It's been a very tiring day,,,,long day for sure,,,,,I am sooo ready for bed,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Got a hold of the Dr yesterday,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Dr Thomas Young,,,,and he has set up a "Pet" scan, to see how the nodes are doing all over,,, and then I see him the following week. He says this is common for chronic lymphocytic leukemia patients (also known as CLL),,,,,,,he is not volunteering a whole lot of info on the subject,,,,I have to find out most of my info on the internet,,,,but that is typical of Doctors,,,,"you don't ask, they don't have to tell
",,,,,,so you learn to read between the lines and do research for yourself. I do know that the scan will also tell me if it has spread to any nearby organ,,,,,(that is interesting,,,,,,I remember when Ronnie had one,,,,and in a matter of 3 hours of finding out it was esophageal cancer for sure and the pet scan showed it had already spread to 4 other places,,,,,which we had no clue,,,,amazing what they can do nowdays) So this will be a good thing. That scan will be next Tuesday. Then I will have to wait a whole week to find out the results of the scan and find out what we will be dealing with. He did mention that since they are so painful that there was some chemo we could do,,,,,,but,,,,,,,,that will just have to depend on the type of chemicals and etc......After all,,,,we have a big wedding coming up on June 26th, big day for Jonathan and Tiffany,,,,I most diffently want to have hair for this,,,,and a bridal shower to plan and a rehearsal dinner to throw together. After all, I have waited 29 years for this!!!!! So it all depends,,,,,,,

We are also working on a church cookbook for our 100th anniversary in September,,,,,we have already started working on it and hope to have it finished by May 1st and off to the printers. I feel the need to stay busy,,,,cancer is so nerve racking,,,,,,can be so over whelming at times. And I'm hoping to stay in a good frame of mind,,,so easy to get in a "why me" or self pitying mode. Not so easy to stay focused on the "BIG" prize. I will say,,,,,, I fill the need to "set my house in order" just to be ready,,,, in case of an all out major infection,,,,,,,,that creeps up (like the last few have done). My Mom died of sepsis,,,,,a life threatening infection,,,,,so I have a terrible fear about infection (it's actually a dirty word to me,,,,haha).

Thanks to all who have thought of me,,,said a prayer for me, wrote on my blog, sent a e-mail,,,,couldn't make it without you all. Big thank you to my boys who have been there to help me, they are trying hard to take up the slack that a daughter would automacially have done. And thankyou to my brother Jimmy for calling today to check on me,,,,was good to hear your voice and talk to you,,,,love you bunches. Sometimes I wonder why ,,,,,why all this?????? to endue without Ronnie,,,,,,but you know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(tears),,,,,God does have a plan,,,,,,,,,,,(tears),,,I don't understand it all,,,,but I trust that he does,,,,,,,,,for he has all of us in his hands anyway. But as the song says,,,,,"If I can help Somebody",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it would be worth it all,,,,wouldn't it!!!

♪♫ Lord I'm in Prayer,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

and I don't know what to say,,,,,,,,,,Lord, let your spirit....teach me to pray. I'll just say the first thing,,,,that comes into my mind,,, Lord,,,I need a miracle,,,,,would you help me one more time.♪ ♫

Well, the Dr, finally called me at 7:24 pm,,,thought he wasn't gonna make it,,,,and he said,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(tears,tears),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
that the biopsy showed lymphoma consistent with chronic lymphocyctic leukemia,,(OMG)
,,,,,,,,(tears),,,,OMG,,,,tears,,,,,Now we already know that you have leukemia,,,,So I asked if this meant more chemo (OMG) (just the thought of having to take this again,,,,,,,,,,,OMG) He said not necessarily,,,,,,but that I should call my oncologist first thing in the morning and have him review it and go from there. So,,,,,this is it,,,,,,,,,,now I know...He said that this is what "THAT" lymph node showed (and he took one of the biggest),,,maybe it hasn't spread,,,,,but I know it has because the groin is just as painful... My hope is that it hasn't spread to any organ already. The stomach area has also filled with some fluid (I didn't want to tell the Dr that,,,,,it would mean more tests). So I will call the Dr first thing,,,,,and I would say he will want to do an MRI or possibly CT (possibly even a PET scan) to see if it has spread and what kind it is,,,,,,,that way we would have a startng place to review every so often to find out if it is spreading,,,,,,,,,whew,,,,,will it ever end?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(tears),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yes,,,,,,, it will one day,,,,,,and ain't I glad I don't have to worry about that part,,,,one day it will be over,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but as the song says,,,,,♪♫ "Dont worry about me,,,,,♪♫,,,,I'm going over,,,,,,,,,,,Don't give a second thought,,,,to where my soul is bound........Don't worry about me,,,,,,I'm going over,,,,,He'll lift me over,,,,,set my feet on,,,,higher ground.,♪♫ Love you all,,,,and apreciate you letting me vent when I need to,,,,,,♥

I feel better!!!!!!!

Yey!!!!!! I have felt a little bit better all day long,,,,SO GLAD!!! Had a rough nite,,,,pain meds gave me bad dreams,,,it always does,,,and I wake up scared. (And i only take half of a tablet, wondering how I would react if I took the whole thing,,,,,euoooooo) But I haven't had any today,,,so that's a good sign,,,,and I have gotten stronger,,,all day,,,just had to sleep off the anethestic out of your system I guess. Supposed to hear from the biopsy tomorrow,,,getting anxious to know something,,,,hoping for the best,,,,still can't get over the fact, that they glued me back together,,,,,amazing,,,,,,,,glad I don't have the stitches to worry about getting infected and changing bandages,,,,another ten years,,,wonder what surgery will be like,,,all laser???? Amazing,,,,,,

Yucky,,,,,,ugh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

don't feel so good,,,,,,,,got home around 4,,,,,stayed with Jonathan a few hours then home....I have about a 4 inch incision (that hurts) in my armpit (bad place),,,,,,and sore throat (they had a tube inserted during surgery). Won't know results of biopsy until after 2 on Wednesday,,(oh boy!),,,still,,,,I think it is related to the swine flu shot,,,but we will see...Thanks everyone for all the calls and good thoughts,,,,luv ya

Oh,,,,,forgot to tell you,,,,no stitches!!!! the Dr glued it back together,,,,amazing what they can do now days,,,,and the incision looks really well. Just amazing,,,probably will mean a faster healing time and I'm all for that!!