A busy Summer for sure,,,,,,,,,,,

Whew, it has been a whirlwind of a summer,,,,,,,,I decided to put the farm up for sell and downsize,,,,,a big overtaking for sure,,,,,,I bought a 3 bedroom home with no basement and less then an acre,,,,,,the farm has 154 acre's, we mow about 6 acres)with a stocked pond, (which we have to keep sprayed with roundup and occasionally put in chemicals to keep down algae control),4 bedroom house with 2 baths, basement with attached garage, barn and 4 sheds. I haven't sold the farm yet,,,,,,just waiting for the right buyer to come along. (one with money for sure)

Just wait'll you see, my brand new home,,,simple and sweet little home,,,just big enough for me. It has been a couple of months and I am still moving and sifting through everything,,,,a BIG undertaking!!!! But it is coming together slowly. It is located on the other side of the county towards 31W and will be a lot closer to the doctors, just in case I should ever have to have chemo again. I have enjoyed moving things around and trying to put "myself and personality" into my new home. If I had a Bucket List,,,,,to live in a brand new home would be on it,,,,,,this is a first and to purchase it all by myself has been a bit scary,,,,,but,,,,,I'm looking forward to creating a life here settling in.

I have mentioned before how I can't seem to handle bacteria much because of the CLL and chemo,,,,,,well the abscessed tooth surfaced again,,,,and with a vengeous this time,,,I happen to have an anti-biotic on hand and pain meds,,,,but it didn't phase it,,,,,went to the dentist and by that time my jaw was pretty much locked and he couldn't even get into my mouth and I was in the most horrible pain, and the meds were not helping,,,,so he sends me to an oral surgeon,,,,,,,,which by this time as long as I kept an ice pack on it to help with the swelling I could actually get some sleep,,,,yey!!!! The abscess was under a silver crowned wisdom tooth that was attached to a bridge,,,,so the surgeon had to saw through the bridge, saving 2 crowns on the opposite end. He had to pull the wisdom tooth because my platelets were 58,,,needless to say,,,THAT was very traumatic!!!!! I couldn't open my mouth very wide,,,so he gave me the shots for numbing,,,,,,and,,,,I swear it had to go through my tongue on one of these,,,ouch!!! (afterwards I had a pin hole red mark on my tongue for proof, but hey,,,,the doctor literally couldn't get into my mouth because of the lockjaw,,,,he had to guess, Finally the numbing took affect and the sawing took place followed by the pulling of the tooth,,,,,all in 20 minutes, Okay,,,,it was out! I'm, afraid, it wasn't instant relief,,,,remember the infection,,,,,well he put me on 625 mg of anti-biotic and hydracodone,,,,,it took several days before I could tell any difference. All in all, I was down for 10 days,,,,,OMG,,,,,10 days of wasted days,,,,,,,all due to a tooth, who would have thought!!!

Also,,,,,in the last couple of months,,,,,Ronnie's uncle Howard passed away. He was a diabetic and had to have his foot amputated. He had a couple of infections going on at the same time and he didn't make it. I was very close to Uncle Howard and his death hurt me greatly. I always considered him as one of my uncle as well as Ronnies. He baptized me, and also married me and Ronnie. We even bought him his license so he could marry us. He has always been "special" and I will miss him greatly.

When I went to the doctor, it was a pretty good check up,,,,,the platelets were low,,,,,but stable, so I don't have to go back for6 months......yea me!!! But,,,,,since the tooth ordeal,,,,,I have been hurting underneath the armpits again, sorta like before.......I will most differently keep an eye on this. It reminds me of before,,,when they found the lymphoma,,,,,,they said it could come back in three months,,,,or 10 years......needlessly to say,,,,,,it scared me. But it is probably caused by so much infection from the tooth. I took my last anti-biotic yesterday,,,,so we will see just how I do without it.

And last,,,,,,Happy Birthday to my first born, Jason, on the 4th of this month. He was 35,,,,,Happy Birthday Herchimer (his nickname given to him by his Daddy).

Mr and Mrs Jonathan Vincent,,,,

Well,,,they did it!!! And what a beatiful bride and lovely wedding it was. Thanks to everyone who came and made it such a special day. We love you all. I only coughed twice during the ceremony, (I was so proud). I kept a piece of gum in my mouth, (for moisture, I guess,) it seemed to help. Now to watch the video and see if I chomped on it any during the ceremony,,ha

We had church today, and afterward went to Glendale to a famiy get together to visit with my cousin Jay whose daughter had graduated from high school. Congrats Jessica Brooks!! Then stopped by and visited some dear friends, Juanita and Freeman Sullivan and had a nice visit and also ate supper there, (what a treat!) Then came home and fished some in the pond,,,,water was so warm, the fish didn't even bite,,,they must have stayed on the bottom where it was cooler. Can't believe how busy the last few days have been and how I have pretty well kept up with every one, of course I know it is due to the steroids,,,,,so glad I had them,,,,,,I have a few days of them left,,,,,wonder what else I can get into? maybe the grass tomorrow and washing the house down,,,,yeah that needs to be done too,,,,and then,,,,,,,,

♪♫♪ Going to the Chapel, ♪♫♪ and the're,,,,, ♪♫♪ gonna get mar♥ri♥ed,,♪♫♪

goin,, to the,, chapel of Love♥,,,,,,,,Tomorrow is the big \ big day....Tiffany and Jonathan are finally getting married.....We have all awaited for this day,,,,,,,wedding rehearsal this evening and rehearsal dinner....Decorated for the reception is done,,,church is decorated........tomorrow is it!!! Will be blessed with three daughters now,,,,,,! You should have seen how well the ring bearer and flower girl did,,,,,can't wait to see everyone dressed in their pretty dresses and tuxs.......hmmmmmmmmmm

Had to go to the Dr. this am for the coughing,,,I sure don't want to be in the wedding videos and be coughing. 4 weeks ago tomorrow I woke up with a upper respiratory infection,,,,,4 weeks ago,,,,,and the Dr put me on some meds,,,,but it is still lingering on,,,,mainly with a cough and ear problems,,,,just hanging around,,,,,so I went back to the Dr and he could see everything is still the same,,,,so more meds ,,,,AND,,,,steroids!!!! Yes!!! To tell you the truth,,,,I asked for them,,,,,,Now maybe it will go away now,,,,,and I can get through the wedding with out coughing so much....It really feels like,,,,a lymph node in the neck is pushing on the throat and causing it,,,,,not sure. Hopefully is will be better by the AM. Meds don't seem to be phasing it much,,,,will difently have to keep an eye on things,,,,,,

Also went for a 3 month visit with Dr Young,,,,and,,,,,things are about the same,,,,,,platelets were 56,,,pretty low,,,but no anemia and no bruising. WBC 8.4,,,good RBC,,,low but ok,,,lymph # 6.0,,,high,,,but better then 8.6 as last time...but normal high 2.9....so get monthly blood work and go back in 3 months to the new lady Dr. I wonder how I will like her,,,,,,,,,,My cholestral is very high and Dr Shadowen has put me on another med. I take 3 different ones now,,,,,hmmmmm

Now if I can just get rid of this cough,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

So far,,,,,so good,,,,,,

is all I can say,,,,,I haven't posted because nothing has been going on,,,,,,I still feel good and the cancer seems to be dormant for now,,,,,I know at any given time it can pop it's ugly head back up,,,,but for now life is good,,,,,,,and no trips to BG,,,,,,,,I have a check up next month,,,we will see how we are doing,,,,,possibly a new Dr. too.

Learning a new song,,,,have you ever heard,,,,"When I remember who I am",,,,,,,,very nice indeed. Our church anniversary is coming up in September,,,100 year anniversary,,,,we have been working on a church cookbook to celebrate this....BIG job!!! But it is done now and waiting for the final result....

We had a 2 week revival in which the Lord greatly blessed by saving 9 souls,,,,,,9 more to help fight the battle,,,Ain't God good,,,,,,,,,Decoration is coming up this weekend,,,,,,,,houseful and lots of eating to be done,,,,,we will decorate Ronnie's and his families graves,,,,,,hope it's not raining,,,,,,then baptizing next weekend,,,and then decoration with my family in Caneyville the next weekend. A busy month for sure. So glad I am healthy enough to enjoy everything,,,,,,

Well,,,,,,,Ain't God Good!!!!!!!!

Went to see my cancer Dr, Dr Young to get the report of the PET scan,,,,,WOO,,,,,,,HOOO!!!! No spreading in the lymph nodes and no evidence of metastatic activity in any organ,,,WOO,,,,,HOOO,,,,,,,We found it early,,,,,,,,,may not have any more involvement for hopefully many years,,,but of course, I know it could be 3 months also. He said that the nodes are usually large before it is found,,,,but we did good,,,and found it early. So that suckka is out of there!!! But that is awfully good news for now,,,it's been kinda scary around here. Leukemia numbers are about the same,,,no better no worse,,,that is good also. Go back in three months, unless something comes up. and did I tell you that my Dr of 12 years is re-locating to Colorado? I've been with him for a long time and I really like him,,,,,....He has seen me at some very low times,,,chemo, shingles, allergic reactions to IVIG treatments, which cause hepatitis and meningitis,,,and now this,,,I will see him one more time before he leaves,,,,,maybe,,just maybe I'll bake him a cake,,,,,,,,

Surprise, surprise,,,,,,,,,

Went to see the surgeon, Dr Daniels today,,,so he could check the incision site, which I thought was looking rather well, until last nite and I noticed a huge red place on one side of it,,,,and I thought maybe I was bleeding internally. Tried not to get excited and was tempted to call someone over to examine it,,,but it was like 1:30 in the am,,,,and I re-thought about it. I felt like it had fever in it, but I didn't have a fever,,,but it was getting large and was painful. Was glad I was seeing the Dr the next day,,,,,,,So I go and he looks at it and says the incision looks good,,,,then I told him that the red place has just appeared yesterday ,,,,and he said that was common (I am so glad I am just a common person) ha. "Would you like for me to drain it?" (I thought about saying,,,,,NO,,,,I like growing a third boob under my arm, and I like all this pain I'm in,,,,,but I didn't, I was nice and said,,, yes) He commenced to numb me, stick in a needle,,,,(which still hurt terribly) added a syringe, 22ccs to be exact and extracted 5 of those syringes full of bloody water, (lymph water and blood) that was what was pooling up around the incision,,,,,,,great!!! He said,,,we may have to do this several more times,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hmmmmmmmm,,,,should I scream now or next trip??? They never tell you everything,,,,nobody told me to expect this. More trips to BG with the gas prices going sky high again. Now to top the whole day off,,,,,,,,,,,,he put a cotton ball on the syringe site and paper tape over the whole area,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,well,,ouchy,,!!!!!! stuck like glue,,,,,,,you should of seen the little dance I was doing trying to pull it off,,,,I'd pull a little ,,,dance a little,,,,,pull a little dance a little,,,,why would he put that tape right on the incision site,,,,,,,,,,Gosh,,,,,,,then it was itchy and sticky,,,,I washed it off first then put on some Aquaphor on it,,,it feels a little better and I'm a little calmer........Mommmmmmmmmmma!!!!!
Six more days until I see Dr Young. Cancer can bring out a nasty side of yourself,,,,,,,gotta have a little humor to go along side of it,,,,,,,or it will drive you absolutely insane,,,,,,,,,lol

Soooooooo glad,,,,,,,,,

that's over,,,,,,,,I had the PET scan today,,,,,,,I'm still a little anxious. Thought I was going to have a panic attack,,,,can't stand closed in places,,,I know it's silly,,,,,but have always been that way. All I wanted to do was get out of that thing. They also "wrap" your arms to your sides,,,I thought I was going to "croak" right there in the cylinder,,,,yikes!!! I asked her if it would be alright if I hummed and she said ok,,,,so I just hummed and tried to focus on that song,,,,,,,and I will have to say God surely had a hand in it and kept me in there,,,,,,Gosh I'm glad that's over. I will say I think an MRI is worse,,,of course the cylinder is longer and makes alot of noise too. I won't know the results until next Tuesday. The orders for the scan had NHL marked on it for reasoning,,,,,,,,,hmmmmmmmmm,,,,I'd say that means non-Hodgkin's lymphoma,,,hmmmmmmmm,,,,well, now we know,,,,it has a name. I would say the scan will tell us if it has spread to an organ(s) and what stage we are dealing with,,,,hmmmmmmmmm. The little tech that took care of me was so sweet and so good at her job,,,I know I was a difficult patient,,,,but she handled me well. Her name was Ewa, pronounced Eva at the diagnostic center at the MC. Thanks Ewa,,,I feel like I owe you my life,,,ha

I picked up the biopsy report while I was in town,,,,,anybody know what CD20, CD23, and CD5 positive with CD38 negative and dim kappa are? Over my head for sure,,,,,,,The diagnosis was: small B cell lymphoma consistent with involvement of chronic lymphocytic leukemia in lymph node, and they say this is common. Leave it to me to have something that was "common",,,ha.

It's been a very tiring day,,,,long day for sure,,,,,I am sooo ready for bed,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Got a hold of the Dr yesterday,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Dr Thomas Young,,,,and he has set up a "Pet" scan, to see how the nodes are doing all over,,, and then I see him the following week. He says this is common for chronic lymphocytic leukemia patients (also known as CLL),,,,,,,he is not volunteering a whole lot of info on the subject,,,,I have to find out most of my info on the internet,,,,but that is typical of Doctors,,,,"you don't ask, they don't have to tell
",,,,,,so you learn to read between the lines and do research for yourself. I do know that the scan will also tell me if it has spread to any nearby organ,,,,,(that is interesting,,,,,,I remember when Ronnie had one,,,,and in a matter of 3 hours of finding out it was esophageal cancer for sure and the pet scan showed it had already spread to 4 other places,,,,,which we had no clue,,,,amazing what they can do nowdays) So this will be a good thing. That scan will be next Tuesday. Then I will have to wait a whole week to find out the results of the scan and find out what we will be dealing with. He did mention that since they are so painful that there was some chemo we could do,,,,,,but,,,,,,,,that will just have to depend on the type of chemicals and etc......After all,,,,we have a big wedding coming up on June 26th, big day for Jonathan and Tiffany,,,,I most diffently want to have hair for this,,,,and a bridal shower to plan and a rehearsal dinner to throw together. After all, I have waited 29 years for this!!!!! So it all depends,,,,,,,

We are also working on a church cookbook for our 100th anniversary in September,,,,,we have already started working on it and hope to have it finished by May 1st and off to the printers. I feel the need to stay busy,,,,cancer is so nerve racking,,,,,,can be so over whelming at times. And I'm hoping to stay in a good frame of mind,,,so easy to get in a "why me" or self pitying mode. Not so easy to stay focused on the "BIG" prize. I will say,,,,,, I fill the need to "set my house in order" just to be ready,,,, in case of an all out major infection,,,,,,,,that creeps up (like the last few have done). My Mom died of sepsis,,,,,a life threatening infection,,,,,so I have a terrible fear about infection (it's actually a dirty word to me,,,,haha).

Thanks to all who have thought of me,,,said a prayer for me, wrote on my blog, sent a e-mail,,,,couldn't make it without you all. Big thank you to my boys who have been there to help me, they are trying hard to take up the slack that a daughter would automacially have done. And thankyou to my brother Jimmy for calling today to check on me,,,,was good to hear your voice and talk to you,,,,love you bunches. Sometimes I wonder why ,,,,,why all this?????? to endue without Ronnie,,,,,,but you know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(tears),,,,,God does have a plan,,,,,,,,,,,(tears),,,I don't understand it all,,,,but I trust that he does,,,,,,,,,for he has all of us in his hands anyway. But as the song says,,,,,"If I can help Somebody",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it would be worth it all,,,,wouldn't it!!!

♪♫ Lord I'm in Prayer,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

and I don't know what to say,,,,,,,,,,Lord, let your spirit....teach me to pray. I'll just say the first thing,,,,that comes into my mind,,, Lord,,,I need a miracle,,,,,would you help me one more time.♪ ♫

Well, the Dr, finally called me at 7:24 pm,,,thought he wasn't gonna make it,,,,and he said,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(tears,tears),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
that the biopsy showed lymphoma consistent with chronic lymphocyctic leukemia,,(OMG)
,,,,,,,,(tears),,,,OMG,,,,tears,,,,,Now we already know that you have leukemia,,,,So I asked if this meant more chemo (OMG) (just the thought of having to take this again,,,,,,,,,,,OMG) He said not necessarily,,,,,,but that I should call my oncologist first thing in the morning and have him review it and go from there. So,,,,,this is it,,,,,,,,,,now I know...He said that this is what "THAT" lymph node showed (and he took one of the biggest),,,maybe it hasn't spread,,,,,but I know it has because the groin is just as painful... My hope is that it hasn't spread to any organ already. The stomach area has also filled with some fluid (I didn't want to tell the Dr that,,,,,it would mean more tests). So I will call the Dr first thing,,,,,and I would say he will want to do an MRI or possibly CT (possibly even a PET scan) to see if it has spread and what kind it is,,,,,,,that way we would have a startng place to review every so often to find out if it is spreading,,,,,,,,,whew,,,,,will it ever end?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,(tears),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,yes,,,,,,, it will one day,,,,,,and ain't I glad I don't have to worry about that part,,,,one day it will be over,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but as the song says,,,,,♪♫ "Dont worry about me,,,,,♪♫,,,,I'm going over,,,,,,,,,,,Don't give a second thought,,,,to where my soul is bound........Don't worry about me,,,,,,I'm going over,,,,,He'll lift me over,,,,,set my feet on,,,,higher ground.,♪♫ Love you all,,,,and apreciate you letting me vent when I need to,,,,,,♥

I feel better!!!!!!!

Yey!!!!!! I have felt a little bit better all day long,,,,SO GLAD!!! Had a rough nite,,,,pain meds gave me bad dreams,,,it always does,,,and I wake up scared. (And i only take half of a tablet, wondering how I would react if I took the whole thing,,,,,euoooooo) But I haven't had any today,,,so that's a good sign,,,,and I have gotten stronger,,,all day,,,just had to sleep off the anethestic out of your system I guess. Supposed to hear from the biopsy tomorrow,,,getting anxious to know something,,,,hoping for the best,,,,still can't get over the fact, that they glued me back together,,,,,amazing,,,,,,,,glad I don't have the stitches to worry about getting infected and changing bandages,,,,another ten years,,,wonder what surgery will be like,,,all laser???? Amazing,,,,,,

Yucky,,,,,,ugh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

don't feel so good,,,,,,,,got home around 4,,,,,stayed with Jonathan a few hours then home....I have about a 4 inch incision (that hurts) in my armpit (bad place),,,,,,and sore throat (they had a tube inserted during surgery). Won't know results of biopsy until after 2 on Wednesday,,(oh boy!),,,still,,,,I think it is related to the swine flu shot,,,but we will see...Thanks everyone for all the calls and good thoughts,,,,luv ya

Oh,,,,,forgot to tell you,,,,no stitches!!!! the Dr glued it back together,,,,amazing what they can do now days,,,,and the incision looks really well. Just amazing,,,probably will mean a faster healing time and I'm all for that!!

I Still have infection,,,,,,,,,

on another round of antibiotic,,,,,,whew,,,,,also lymph nodes are swollen and are sooooo painful. They have been swollen since way before Christmas,,,,,not all that big,,, but are terribly painful. Probably because of all the infections,,,but to be on the safe side, we did a mammogram, chest ex-ray and ultra-sound,,,,,which were clear except for the ultra-sound,,,,it showed up the swollen lymphs (shame the pain couldn't have showed up too,,,ha). I have knots under the arms and in the groin,, In the mornings I feel pretty good,,,but by nightime,,,I'm a mess,,,,,soooo tired and hurting sooo bad...Don't exactly know what is going on,,,,,,again,,,probably just infection. My Dr sent me to see a surgeon,,,,and he wants to take some nodes out and test them to see what is going on,,,,,(fun, fun, fun,). So on Monday we will do that,,,,just hope I don't get a bug between now and then,,,,,,afraid to get out much,,,,afraid I will get the flu or the stomach bug that is going around.......Come to think of it,,,I have had these swollen lymph nodes ever since I got that swine flu shot,,,,,,,strange,,,,,wonder if that is why they are swollen?????? very strange,,,,wonder if there is a connection? Won't know anything until Wednesday,,,,will hear from the biopsy by then.

My how times flies,,,,can't believe it has been 8 years ago today,,,,,,when we lost Ronnie,,,,,and then in other ways,,,,it seems forever since he has been gone. Never saw anyone that loved to laugh, and make you laugh too, any better then he did. What a hoot he was!!!! He had this picture of a girl who was sooo ugly,,,I mean UGLY!!! and he would say,,"let me show you a picture of my wife" and I would feel so sorry for those people,,,He would add,,,,"Ain't she beautiful?" And the people wouldn't want to hurt his feelings,,,they wouldn't know what to say,,,,,and he would just laugh,,,,,,One time a guy,,,,,, kept a straight face,,,,,and said,,,"she bore you 3 great sons, didn't she?" (he was one of those,,,if you can't say something nice,,,don't say nothing at all people,,ha) He sure had a lot of fun with that picture,,,,,,memories,♥,,,enough to last a lifetime,,,,,,,makes me laugh just thinking about him,,☺,,,,,,,,hmmmmmmm

Thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday, and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name. All I have are memories and a picture in a frame. Your memory is a keepsake, with which I'll never part. God has you in his keeping, I have you in my heart,,,,

♪♫♪I Got Sunshine,,,,,,,,,,,,,♪♫♪

on a cloudy day,,,,,,,when it's cold outside,,,,,,,I've got, the month of May,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Well,,,,,I,,, guess,,,,,you'd say,,,,what, can make me feel this way,,,,,,,,,My Friends♥,,,,talkin about,, My Friends♥,,,,,,ou,,ou,,ou,,,,,,

I've got soooo,,, much Love, for everybody,,,,,it comes easy for me,,,,,I've got a sweeter song, than ,,the birds,,,in the trees,,,,Well,,,I guess you'd say,,,,,what can make me feel this way,>,,,,My Friends♥,,,talkin about,,,My Friends,,,,♥♥♥

♫♪♪♫ I Sing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

because I'm happy,,,,,,,,,,,I sing,,,,,because I'm free,,,,,,,,,,,,,,For his eye is on the sparrow,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and I know,,,,,,,he watches,,,,,,,,me,,,,,♫♪♪♫

♫♪ Happy Birthday to Me ♫♪,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

today is my 60th birthday,,,,,WOW!!!! Talking about old,,,,,,Never thought I would live to see this day. When diagnosed with CLL 12 years ago, I was given 3 to 4 years, and now it has been 12. Ain't God Good!!! I've had 6 months of chemo 5 years ago, and then some other treatments to raise platelets (twice). And that is all,,,,it could have been so much worse. So I'm very thankful of this,,,,and sometimes when I look back,,,,,,,what have I really got to gripe about in life,,,,it has been good,,,,,and could have been worse.......One reason,,, is because I am still here,,,,,,,,,why I don't know,,,,but here I am,,,,still blessed.♥ So,,,, Happy, Happy Birthday to me,,,,,,,,

Oh, and by the way,,,,,another infection,,,,,,,kidney stones and kidney infection, on my 2nd round of antibiotic,,,,,,,,Happy Birthday to me!!!!☺